If you are planning a wedding and know that most members of this wedding party are hams who won’t mind the whole “public speaking” thing, then by all means keep the toasts traditional with dad, the best man and others taking their expected turns at the microphone.

But if you’re looking for something different, either because you want to save putting people on the spot, or you simply want to do something different and fun, read on.

First, you can certainly take the whole toast thing off the agenda if you wish. There are no rules requiring a toast at any wedding. Weddings should be unique events and reflect the personalities of the bride and groom.

But if you want to do something a little different, there are options. You can go the video route, which asks people to essentially make a toast on camera and then the video is given to the bride and groom later. This isn’t a particularly unique idea, but it does solve the issue of not wanting to put people on the spot and still gives everyone a chance to say something special to the bride and groom.

If your guest list includes many outgoing people then consider “pass the microphone”. This can work in several ways. You can either be silly with it, or deadly serious. Most people like silly. Say dad takes the microphone first. His last name ends with T (so, let’s say dad’s last name is Smith). He must find someone whose first name begins with a T (Tom? Tony? Tina? Theresa?) and pass the microphone to that person, who then gives a toast.

This method of giving toasts does put people on the spot (certainly before the fun begins you can warn them so if they are really uncomfortable, they can escape to the restroom or bar) but it can also be a lot of fun. Getting people when they least expect it and then asking them to remember something funny or meaningful about the bride and groom can result in interesting, funny and truthful results.

You might also decide that one person at each table be required to give a toast. Number the tables and at various intervals, have the MC or DJ call a number, which will require guests at that table to decide amongst themselves who will give the toast at that table. Certainly, more than one person can if they like, but there will likely be at least one ham at each table who will enjoy standing up and toasting the newlyweds.

Say you have plenty of public speakers in the group, and finding willing toast participants won’t be a problem. But you think the subject matter might be. There’s an easy solution to this problem. You can provide open-ended topics for the toast speakers. Say you are providing an “open mike” toast arrangement, where anyone can request the microphone and offer a toast. The DJ, MC or someone else in the wedding party (perhaps the maid of honor or best man) can offer the speaker a surprise topic, which might be pulled from a champagne flute or drawn out of the floral arrangement on the head table. There might be slips of paper to choose, or just one sheet of paper with several ideas.

The speaker might choose to finish this sentence, “I remember when (groom’s name here) was a little boy, he always …” or answer this question, “When was (insert bride’s name here) at her silliest? Tell us the story”. You might have to give each speaker a minute or two to collect their thoughts, but you’re sure to have some interesting stories, some unique anecdotes and some different perspectives on the bride and groom.

Of course, watching the bride and groom push cake into each other’s mouths is a long-enjoyed tradition, but there are many more fun – and less messy – activities to consider as well.

One new option that’s gaining popularity is to have cupcakes instead of a cake. This is a method that is usually more affordable than having a cake and it can be a lot of fun. Cupcakes are decorated in alignment with the wedding theme, just as a cake is, but the cupcakes are instead arranged on tiered cake plates and displayed on a cake table until it’s time to eat them. The cupcakes can be simply handed out on plates to each wedding guest.

Now, what’s fun about using cupcakes instead of a whole wedding cake is you can save money, certainly, as many reception halls and caterers charge a per slice fee to cut and serve the wedding cake, but you can also build activities into the cupcake presentation. For example, the cupcakes that are for the bride and groom can have a different decoration than the ones for the guests.

As an extra touch, you can have the baker include a special prize in one or several cupcakes. A small charm or tiny toy can be baked into the cupcake. Whoever gets the charm wins a special prize. These prizes can range from a gift basket or gift certificate to a restaurant to a dance with the bride or groom.

Some brides like to use a Southern tradition and have charms baked into the wedding cake. Similar to the idea above for cupcakes, this involves baking small charms or tiny toys (but usually charms) into the cake. Those who get one of the charms are said to have good luck. You might even consider having charm bracelet charms baked into the cake, which are then made into a charm bracelet for the bride.

Not everyone enjoys cake. How about an activity for those who won’t be eating cake? They can be required to do the “Macarena” or the chicken dance during the time when everyone else is eating cake. If they manage to do the dance continuously while the other guests enjoy cake, they win a prize. Or they simply get to sit down, as now they are tired!

In keeping with the dance during cake theme, how about a requirement that in order to get cake, a guest must perform an impromptu dance first? Or there could be trivia questions about the bride and groom or about popular culture. Guests must correctly answer the questions before getting their cake. There could be competitions among tables or individuals for most questions answered correctly.

Many people believe that once the cake is cut, they are free to leave if they wish. Since cake cutting usually comes after the meal and after dancing and other traditional celebration activities, many people take the opportunity to leave the party after the cake is cut and enjoyed.

If the bride and groom want their guests to stay after the cake is eaten, it is worth some extra effort to build some activities into the cake-cutting event so people will stick around longer. This can be as simple as telling people not to leave, or can be more subtle and fun.

For example, each person could receive a slip of paper with his or her cake. These slips of paper could be prepared ahead and provided to the catering company with instructions that one folded strip of paper be placed on each plate with the cake. The paper might give an agenda for the rest of the evening or might ask its recipient to perform a little dance, to head over to give the groom or bride a kiss, or might ask them to take the flower girl out on the dance floor for a spin. The unknown will keep all the guests guessing and provide some entertainment as the instructions are carried out.

What to do? It’s not that hard. There are a myriad of activities you can plan that will not only engage and entertain the guests, but also help them get to know each other and – most importantly – the bride and groom just a little bit better.

Here’s one that’s fun and might remind you just a little bit of a football game. Make a placard for each guest. On one side, letter “Bride” and on the other, “Groom”. Someone, and if you have a DJ it can be him or her, or the best man or maid of honor, asks a series of questions. They might be simple, like “who was born in New York City”? Or they might be more complicated, such as “who, at 6, broke their leg when they were playing with their German shepherd puppy”?

Guests don’t yell their answer, but rather show their placard, turning it to the “bride” side of they think the question pertains to the bride or to the “groom” side if it’s the opposite. The guests’ guesses can be revealing, but even more revealing, are the true answers. It’s a great, fun way for everyone to get to know a little more about the bride and groom.

One word of caution about the above activity: Keep ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends out of the questions and don’t ask anything that might be a little too revealing or too risqué. Remember, grandmothers and grandfathers and young children will likely be present!

If it’s too much work to create signs for each person, you can create just two and create two teams – a team of men and a team of women. Grouped together, the teams can work together to decide on the answer and answer as a group. This “men versus women” concept is always popular and sure to be fun for everyone.

One silly game that’s always a hit really puts the groom in the spotlight. How well does he know the feel and touch of his new wife? In this game, everyone finds out. You can do this several ways. You can enlist just the wedding party in this game, or as many of the wedding guests that want to participate.

Line each participant up and blindfold the groom. Put the bride somewhere in the mix, and send the groom on a hunt for his bride. The participants can either shake the groom’s hand or give him a kiss on the cheek. In some versions, he might feel their hair or their leg. The details are up to you.

Depending on how far you want to take this game, you can add a fun element to it that is sometimes popular. You have the groom feel the leg of each participant. The best man, or other male member of the wedding party, rolls up his pant leg, puts on a garter and has the groom feel that. The groom has to kiss whoever he thinks is his bride, while still blindfolded. Often, he ends up kissing a man.

For an activity that allows the guests to be audience members instead of participants, consider the game of “feed me”. In this game, the bride is seated and the groom is (again) blindfolded. He’s given a piece of food and then spun around a few times so he’s a little bit dizzy. Guided only by the helpful words of his new bride, he has to find her and get the piece of food into her mouth. Be sure to have the wedding party shadowing him so there are no accidents.

Once the groom has fed his new wife, the tables are turned and she is blindfolded and must find him.

A few notes about this activity: when feeding the bride, don’t use wedding cake or a piece of bread with dip. In other words, don’t use anything too messy. If the groom has a hard time finding her mouth, he might likely smear the food on the bride’s face and that is something that won’t make a bride – prettily made up just hours before – too happy.

There is no requirement that brides entertain their guests at all. After all, they have already attended your wedding ceremony (which was surely engaging and entertaining, right?) and they will soon get music, food and drink. What more could they want? It turns out, a lot. While the bride and groom are off having pictures taken, the guests are left to their own devices, chatting with other guests and wondering when the buffet will open.

In that light, it’s worth at least considering some pre-reception options for keeping wedding guests entertained until the reception begins. Here are a few options, some tradition, some not so, but still fun.

First, you can do the traditional thing and provide guests with drinks and perhaps some light snacks. If the wedding is in the summertime, how about providing lemonade and iced tea? Or if it’s the winter, coffee and hot tea or even hot cocoa depending on the style of your wedding. Providing a light snack isn’t a bad idea, either, and that can be some appetizer-type food or just nuts, especially if the meal will be heavy.

Now, if you want to stray from tradition, there are many options. Some brides opt for entertaining the guests in the truest sense of the word. Clowns, anyone? How about live music? 

If you want to venture into the fun and funky, consult the party planning pages of a local children’s or parent’s magazine. Here, you can find people who will entertain your children at their birthday parties, but many of them will happily take on wedding jobs. You can hire a clown to make balloon animals for the kids (and adults) in attendance, or to juggle a few things. Some clowns are true entertainers and will happily get the crowd involved by fetching items out of women’s purses and juggling them.

Other non-traditional options for entertaining your guests include hiring a band to play music beforehand. If you plan to have classical music at your wedding, you can have a band come and play covers of current pop songs, or you can simply have your hired band arrive a bit early to entertain guests waiting for the full reception to begin.

If there are many children at the wedding, it’s not too expensive to hire a children’s band to sing and entertain the children for a bit. Then if the kids are a bit bored at the reception, they’ll still have the memory of the earlier entertainment with them. In addition, while the children are being entertained, the adults can have a chance to chat and they will surely thank the bride for thinking of them in that way.

Some other options for entertaining your restless crowd before the festivities begin are to include them in the reception before it begins. This is a great time to ask people to sign the guest book and write something meaningful, since they will have more time than they would usually have as they file into the reception hall.

If the reception and the wedding ceremony take place in the same location, but the bride and groom are off having pictures taken, it may not seem as if there’s this dilemma of how to keep the guests entertained, but there in fact, is.

In this case, you can have servers circulate with appetizer trays or you can do something more elaborate, such as some of the suggestions above. One popular option doesn’t involve entertaining the guests at all. Say the wedding is being held at a historic house or mansion. During the lull before the reception, guests can be given a tour of the property. If the wedding and reception are both being held at the couple’s new home, a tour of the property might be in order (assuming the guest list is fairly small).

One of the most obvious is a breakfast the day following the wedding. This is a time for everyone to touch base with each other, check in on how everyone did and perhaps share memories of the night before. This breakfast activity can be as simple or elaborate as you like. Some people like to have this breakfast at a relative’s house because that is friendly and familiar and more conducive to everyone hanging out and enjoying themselves. It can be potluck style or catered. You can also meet up at a restaurant.

Many families like to have the bride and groom open presents the day after the wedding. There are many who believe the bride and groom are required to open presents in the presence of family for good luck. In that case, building in the opening of presents is essential. This can be a simple gathering of friends and family or you can turn the present opening into an all-out activity, where each item is opened, demonstrated or displayed and discussed in great detail.

Opening gifts doesn’t have to a dry activity. You can add some silly fun. How about starting with the smallest and moving to the largest gifts? Or working in the reverse order? You might even create a game. Everyone has to guess what’s in each gift prior to its being opened. (Of course, people can’t guess on their on gifts.) Someone can be in charge of keeping a tally and whoever gets the most right, wins a small prize.

The women in the bride’s family might want to help her pack up her gown (or send it to the dry cleaners) and preserve her wedding bouquet. This can easily be done at home and the women (particularly those who are crafty) might want to get started on preserving the flowers as well.

In the crafty light, some brides might want to plan a scrapbook party for after the wedding. You won’t have photos back from the photographer, but you can scrapbook many other wedding events, such as pre-events like manicures, various parties and the candid photos take by wedding guests the night before. More than being focused on the photos, this activity gives the women a chance to reflect on the events of the wedding, laugh at all the fun ties and journal and preserve memories before some are lost. It will also help the bride feel as if she’s partly in control of all those photos before she leaves on her honeymoon and takes yet more photos.

If gifts were opened on this “day after the wedding”, crafty groups might want to make thank you cards. Choose a design long before the wedding, perhaps even making a prototype as well. Then have all the supplies on hand and give everyone good ideas about how the cards should be made. Even the men can get on this act, helping to fold the cards, perhaps handling any computer work and even getting their fingers on glue and scissors. Send the bride and groom off with these homemade cards so when they get back from their honeymoon, all they have to do is jot off a quick note.

Some brides and grooms plan activities the day fter the wedding that are designed to help everyone calm down, relax and unwind after what has likely been a busy weekend. In this light, you can plan a picnic at the park and bring along games to play. You might pack a football, a volleyball net or items to play baseball. You might bring along water guns or a dartboard. Whatever it is, the idea here is to have some fun and blow off steam. Make your own rules when playing the games. It really doesn’t matter. Today is about relaxing, unwinding and spending some quality time with friends and family before the special weekend is over.

Generally, if an all-night reception is planned, it goes something like this: the wedding is held in the early evening and reception follows. By about midnight, many of the guests will have left and the group that is remaining (generally the younger guests, but not always) will continue to dance and party and revel into the early morning hours. At some point, breakfast will be provided and everyone will go home to crash.

Why do you need activities for such a reception? The answer is simple. You want to keep people entertained through the nighttime hours, you want to keep them at the reception and not let them give in to driving home to crash and sleep and you want to provide them with a real party. Let’s face it: if they are willing to hang in with you for the duration, they deserve something for their effort.

First, you need to be fairly organized about the activities you plan. Consult with your DJ about these activities and leave it to him or her to keep things on a schedule. Do not plan to cut cake in the middle of the night. That activity should take place during the more traditional evening hours, so those not intending to stay all night can leave. However, if you’re determined to keep your guests all night, you could hold one activity back with the hope it will keep guests in the house longer.

Depending on your guest list, you might hold off on the father-daughter dance until after midnight, or you could save a few toasts for the late night hours. In any event, having some other fun events is a great idea.

As guests begin to fade, bring in a piñata, which you can find shaped like a wedding ring, a bridal dress or a champagne flute. Fill it with a variety of goodies. Candy is always popular, but you could also fill it with silly toys found in the carnival section of the party store. Have the DJ play a spirited song and let everyone have a chance at the piñata. Do this on the dance floor and really let people have a swing at it. There should be plenty of room. Once the piñata breaks, everyone can enjoy a taste of sweet candy or can enjoy some silly little carnival game or toy.

People who stay for the duration of the wedding are going to need a rest. Plan a photo presentation or video viewing for this purpose. You could have someone who’s familiar with PowerPoint create a photo presentation or have someone  put together a video of photos. Do this around 2 or 3 am and have it last a good half hour to 45 minutes. This gives everyone a chance to sit down and relax and also gives the DJ a chance to sit, have a rest and rejuvenate for the next round.

In that same vein of allowing the guests a little relaxation, one activity that some brides employ is a non-activity. If the weddig is outside, you can provide inflatable mattresses and have some torches lit. If guests ant to sit down and relax, they can do so on the mattresses and still be part of the activity while resting. If it’s been a long day and someone needs to rest, those reception room chairs don’t seem the most comfortable. If the reception is indoors, think about providing large pillows for guests to sit on or create a corner with inflatable mattresses and lots of fabric. This can be a chatting area where people can go to rest but still be part of the fun. They can chat and catch up with other guests and then head back for more partying when they’re rejuvenated.

Planning activities for these weekend-long celebrations doesn’t have to be difficult; in fact, it can be quite a bit of fun if you keep everyone’s needs in mind. First, consider the wedding. Will this be a formal wedding with a sit-down dinner at its center? If so, you might want to ban a formal rehearsal dinner and replace it instead with an informal barbecue dinner or picnic.

But how will you keep people occupied during the long weekend? There are many activities to consider. Will the wedding be near a lake? How about planning a day at the lake on Saturday, filled with pre-wedding activities like swimming races and beach volleyball.

One popular pre-wedding activity is a scavenger hunt. Prior to the wedding weekend, a list of meaningful items should be drawn up, and guests placed in two teams. The list should include things like “get a brochure from the jewelry store where (groom) bought (bride)’s ring” or “take a picture of the group at the location where the couple got engaged”. You will have to tailor the scavenger hunt list to the location of the wedding and the energy of the guests who will be participating.

You can even offer lavish prizes for the team that wins the scavenger hunt, such as gift certificates or gourmet food and wine baskets. It might seem an obvious choice to divide the teams into groups who know or are related to the bride and teams who know or are related to the groom, but it might be a little more fun to mix it up a bit. You can create teams of friends versus family, or men versus women (always a popular choice).

Another activity that’s popular during wedding weekends is a competitive sport activity, such as baseball or flag football. Again, add a special twist. Offer prizes for performance (first home run gets a kiss from the bride) or make silly rules, like members of the bridal party have to wear tiaras while running bases or members of the groom’s family should always have their shirts on backwards.

It’s important that during the wedding weekend, planners keep in mind that the weekend itself might be expensive for some guests, particularly those who had to fly in for the occasion and many of the activities should be free, or inexpensive. If they are more expensive, and planned for the entire group, they should be paid for by either the bride and groom or their families.

But there are plenty of activities that don’t have to be expensive, but can provide big bang for the little buck, such as the scavenger hunt suggested above. If the wedding weekend guests will mostly be family, you can schedule a home movie-viewing event, including home movies from both the bride and groom’s families. For even more fun, consider an activity where the movies are mixed up and the guests have to guess which family’s videos they are watching. This might sound easy, but depending on the contents, it could be hard, particularly if the bride and groom are babies in the photos.

Depending on where the reception will be held, you can plan many activities based on the setting. Whether it is the park or on a farm, there are a myriad of activities you can plan.

Let’s start with some basics based on popular wedding locations. One fun game for a winery wedding is a blindfolded wine tasting game. If the bride and groom are wine drinkers, this might not a game the bride and groom should be a part of, but instead guests and wedding party members. Blindfold perhaps a half dozen volunteers and have them do a blind taste test (provide something to clean the palate between sips). The volunteers should guess which wine is the pinot noir, which is the Cabernet, and so on. A bottle of wine is the obvious prize for the winner of this game.

Say you are having a reception at a country club on a golf course. It’s possible your theme will include golf elements, so why not include golf in some reception activities or games? You certainly could head to the golf course for a “hole in one” contest, or have a driving contest to see which guest has the best stroke. As a simple, “who gets the centerpiece game”, you could have people guess how many golf balls there are in the floral centerpiece (which could decorate a plain large glass vase filled with flowers). Similarly, there could be a large vase or other clear container filled with golf balls at the reception somewhere and guests could guess how many golf balls are in the vase.

A silly game could be made on the dance floor by asking everyone to include their best golf swing into their dancing for one particular song.

Now, if your reception and ceremony are both to be held outdoors and guests will be milling outdoors, think about games or activities that can take place outdoors and still keep to your level of formality or informality. For example, if the reception is being held at a park, perhaps guests might enjoy a “walk down memory lane”. Prior to the reception, someone can use potted plants or arbors to create a little private lane, which guests can walk through. Along the path, guests will find pictures of the bride and groom at various stages in their lives. There should be a place for guests to record their thoughts and memories along the way as well.

If your wedding and reception are fairly casual, you can always tell guests ahead of time to prepare for a ball game or some other fun outdoor activity. Women can bring a pair of sneakers. Just imagine the fun photos you’ll get out of a rousing game of football or baseball played by women in dresses and sneakers and men in suits and sneakers!

You can provide a challenge activity involving barefoot dancing in the grass or a Frisbee toss in the backyard. Is there a pool in the yard where the reception will be held? Why not have a swimming activity for after the whole of the reception is done?

For example, one popular bachelorette game involves asking the guests to become poets. Ahead of the party, take 50 index cards and on half, write romantic things, like “roses”, “cuddly”, etc. On the other 25 cards, write very non-romantic words or phrases, like “nose hairs” or “ironing”. Then have each guest draw one card from each pile. They should then create a silly poem based on the two very different words or phrases they have chosen, for example, “Roses are red, your nose hairs are ewwwww.”

One fun game that is sure to engender at least a few laughs is “name that item”. Take a paper bag (a fabric bag is better if you have one) and fill the bag with typical “male items”. The items might include a razor, a money clip, a tie, shoe polish, etc. Seal the bag, or fold it over really well. Then have each guest feel the bag and try to guess the contents. Have them write their guesses on a piece of paper. After everyone has had a chance to feel the bag, the contents are shown and the person with the most number of correct guesses gets the bag of male-oriented items.

Here’s a fun idea. This game might take the whole of the bachelorette party, but it’s a fun one that involves all the guests, helps them get to know one another and provides video proof you all had a good time. You need video cameras for this game, so if the host only has one camera, be sure to ask guests to bring more video cameras. Make sure you also have enough blank tapes for this game.

Depending on the number of guests at the party, you’ll divide the party into two or more groups. It’s best to divide the group into teams small enough so that the whole team can get into one car. So you’ll have maybe five women on each team. You’ll give each team a video camera, blank videotapes and a list of “scavenger hunt” type activities they must perform and tape.

Some video scavenger hunt ideas include having a complete stranger sing the national anthem, having a member of the team sing “I wish I were an Oscar Meyer hot dog” in the meat section of the grocery store and taping a stranger who can do a good impersonation of John Wayne.

The teams should be given a specific amount of time in which to complete their assigned tasks and then return to the party location (ideally, a home, in this case). The videos are viewed and the teams vote on the team that did the best. Bonus points are given for the team that creates their own stunts.

Bachelorette party games are not only designed to bring fun to the party, but sometimes to help people get to know one another. This might be a good opportunity for the bride’s best friend to get to know the sister of the groom, or for the bride to get close to the groom’s cousin or niece. So an icebreaker game isn’t a bad idea.

This isn’t perhaps the most intellectual of an icebreaker game, but it will likely break the ice early in the evening before you head out to other events. Play a game called “I never…” and see who takes the most drinks. So the first woman says, “I never…” and completes the sentence. The women who have done the thing the first woman says she’s never done take a drink. Then the next woman claims to have “never” done something.

Some suggestions for this game are: “I never …”
*Lied about my age
*Lied about my weight
*Shoplifted
*Got a speeding ticket
*Ran naked through my house

Before planning any of these games, make sure the bride is willing to play long with them and is outgoing enough for the “public naughty” games. You don’t want to put her on the spot or make her feel uncomfortable. However, if she’s game and willing, many of these games are very popular and extremely fun for girls who enjoy a good time.

First up is “Suck for a buck”. Buy a plain white T shirt and letter on it with fabric paint, “suck for a $”, attach Lifesavers candy to it and have the bride-to-be wear it. When you go out that evening, try to solicit men to suck the lifesavers off the T-shirt. At $1 a man, this is a nice way to pay for a few drinks while you’re out as well!

If the bride isn’t comfortable with the Lifesaver idea, have her wear a candy necklace or bracelet instead and have the men simply bite off a piece of the candy necklace/bracelet.

How about the game where you ask the guests which of them would like her virginity back? The women who say yes line up and are each given a maraschino cherry in a bowl. They are told they have to eat the cherry without using their hands. Doesn’t sound so hard, right? In fact, it gets a little tougher and messier when the host then adds a squirt of whipped cream to each bowl and the women have to find and fish out the cherry all without using their hands.

This activity isn’t quite so naughty, but it could be, depending on the bride’s expressions. As she opens her gifts, and this is assuming there are gifts at this bachelorette party, someone writes down all her expressions as she opens each gift. So there might be “oohs” and “aaahs” and “how cutes” coming from the bride. Once she is done opening gifts, someone says, “If we were outside (bride’s name) hotel room on her wedding night, this is what we’d hear” and you then list the various expressions and comments she made while opening her gifts.

Believe it or not, there are hundreds of products you can buy for steamy bachelorette parties. From fake penises to pin on pictures of hunks on the wall to portable stripper poles, it’s all out there. How about a penis piñata? You could make a game out of who gets to hit the piñata. Turn any drinking game into the piñata game. For example, if the guest would normally take a drink, instead they hit the penis piñata. You could fill the piñata with the always- popular candy, but you could also fill it with sex toys, just to add to the spiciness of the game.

If the bachelorette party is going to be held at a bar or somewhere other than home or in a hotel room, there are a myriad of activities you can come up with to entertain the girls. For example, create a series of challenges. One challenge might be to wander up to a man at a bar. If he were munching the bar-supplied nuts, the challenge would be to say, “Mmmmm. I love a man with salty nuts”.